Recently, they come undone. All by themselves. Frequently. It’s pretty weird, actually. One of my clients commented on it, told me that it’s because my shoelaces are just so RELAXED. Loose. Nice idea! That is a state of being often elicited around me. 🙂
The shoes remind me of a story of my little neighbor kid, who lived across the street when I was growing up. He liked to wander over into our yard and look at my dad’s tomato plants. (My dad grew the BEST tomatoes!) 🙂 Nosy kid. He had this idea that full-blown, grown tomatoes should pop up overnight. He’d come over and stare at the garden the day after my dad planted and ask: “Where are the tomatoes??” I guess in his model of the world, that plant “didn’t work.”
What if that plant is actually growing gangbusters, under the surface? What if the nicest, freshest, beautiful crop of tomatoes is forming, and will emerge soon?
Sometimes my hypnosis clients demonstrate a similar “all right now or it’s nothing” attitude when they come in. (They don’t get to keep it.) If it isn’t immediate and obvious 1000% success, “it didn’t work.” It being hypnosis. One smoker client reduced a pack and a half a day habit down to 3 cigarettes in a week, and reported: “I didn’t smoke in the car, I didn’t smoke at work, I didn’t smoke in the morning, I felt no urge to, but then my mother-in-law called and you know, I had to have a cigarette. It didn’t work!” Yes, it did. And it IS working. It’s a process of change. IT is not a finite thing, it grows and evolves, like a tomato plant.
Shoelaces. That “all or nothing” attitude would entail an awful lot of money spent on shoes. Your shoelace comes untied. “The shoe didn’t work.” Better toss that shoe away. Get some different ones. Doesn’t matter if they’re custom-made exquisite Italian leather, they didn’t work. They’re untied.
Wouldn’t it be easier to simply re-tie them and carry on walking?
The antidote to “all or nothing” is what I call a recovery strategy–and it’s something we install with hypnosis. So you don’t give up prematurely, as change grows. And you don’t let setbacks stop you. You don’t toss away the shoes, berate the shoes as defective or non useful, you simply re-tie them. And carry on. So it is, with hypnosis. Some change is instantaneous, BOOM! Like flicking on a light switch. Other change evolves over time, like a light on a dial control getting brighter and brighter and brighter. Both things happen. I’ve decided to cut my Reboks some slack. They still work. I just tie them and get on with it!