I was riding a shuttle yesterday from my Chicago hotel to the airport, and overheard this bit of conversation.\u00a0 A man was discussing his 13 year old daughter and used this phrase about her:\u00a0 more than once:\u00a0 “She’s damaged goods.”<\/p>\n
Without even knowing the back story, I find that thought as expressed very limiting in a number of ways.<\/p>\n
Number one, when you speak of a person as an object, as a static thing, like “goods,” that limits action, possibility.\u00a0 A thing is a thing. \u00a0\u00a0A cardboard box is a cardboard box.\u00a0 A person is alive, breathing, shifting, infinitely creative.\u00a0 We, with the creativity of our imaginations, can take things, even in damaged or broken condition, and make something new and\u00a0 beautiful.\u00a0 Take a “broken glass.” \u00a0Perhaps it’s got a chip missing from the lip.\u00a0 No longer a useful item for drinking. \u00a0Throw it in the trash, right?\u00a0 But wait, we can take that glass and make it into a vase for flowers, and it’s still useful and beautiful.\u00a0 Or we can break it up into chunks of glass and put it together differently, \u00a0give it new, beautiful life as an artwork, a mosaic.\u00a0 We can smooth out the rough edge and\/or fill in the chip with another even stronger material and it will be useful for drinking again.\u00a0 Choices for change.<\/p>\n
Number two, and even more important: \u00a0people are not “damaged.”\u00a0 They aren’t broken.\u00a0 A person always does the best they can, which is always VERY resourceful, given the current state of their life.\u00a0 And they have within themselves infinite choices.\u00a0 To be something different when they want to be, and how they want to be.<\/p>\n
In hypnotherapy, we don’t “fix people.” \u00a0We guide them to new choices.\u00a0 I’m always impressed with the virtuosity of creativity that comes into my office, how people have developed behaviors and ideas, which once upon a time were useful, but no longer are.\u00a0 They can be just as powerfully creative in changing.\u00a0 And to me, “change” is a wonderful word, a positive word, worthy of cheerleaders jumping in the air or throwing confetti .\u00a0 Yay!!<\/p>\n
I don’t believe that when a thing (or person) is “damaged,” it’s “game over.”\u00a0 This father’s tone and attitude were stuffed full of an obvious negative conviction of “and that’s the way it is.”\u00a0 Au contraire!\u00a0 I believe in change, an ever shifting and moving energy.\u00a0 Infinite possibility!\u00a0 Whatever this 13 year old girl has been through, she can be through it differently–in ways that are useful to her, her growth, and her life.<\/p>\n
Warm Regards,
\nConnie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was riding a shuttle yesterday from my Chicago hotel to the airport, and overheard this bit of conversation.\u00a0 A man was discussing his 13 year old daughter and used this phrase about her:\u00a0 more than once:\u00a0 “She’s damaged goods.” Without even knowing the back story, I find that thought as expressed very limiting in […] <\/p>\n